There are many advantages to having one of your closest mates be a ridiculously hot gay male. One of these is that you can discuss the ins and outs of dudes in great lengths. Literal ins & outs. And, if all goes to plan, literal great lengths.
As this blog goes on, you are sure to get to know the leading characters in my world. Lamby is the hot gay male friend I speak of. Ps, if I were a gay man I would want to be Lamb.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to be a gay man. Grindr pretty much pours sexual favours into your cereal (I know team straight has Blendr, but lets be real blendr is just creep central). You’re pretty much allowed into both male & female toilets without anyone batting an eyelid (should probably review why this is an advantage for me) and I think Seinfeld got it right, if you date someone your own size “you double your wardrobe”! Plus when you wake up next to the night before, most of the time you know who’s going to be there when you open your eyes.
I often think of this from a straight dudes perspective too. Whenever I see any of my mates, or randoms for that matter, picking up a fake (fake hair, boobs, lashes, tan, nails, personality….) I wonder how it would be waking up next to them the next morning & having absolutely no idea who that person is. I mean, you went home with Pamela Anderson (circa late 90s Baywatch) yet somehow, you wake up next to the grudge.
Someone once said, “I’m scared to leave you and Lamb together because you both become 100 times gayer”. It’s true we bring out each other’s inner mardi gras, but I couldn’t think of a better person than him to compare different mouth techniques with on our beer bottles over brunch.
…love, lala x